Kagome's big day
by breakfastateight
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto have big plans for Kagome...


**I wrote this when I was like 12, it's really stupid and dorky. The only thing I fixed was the spelling mistakes. This is the first story I've posted on here, I'm not really sure how to make chapters so I'll just leave it like this for now.  
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One day Kagome was running down North Broadway Street. She was trying to find the thrift store and she only had 5 minutes to get there before it closed. Finally she found it. She ran inside and went to the womens' section. ''I have to find it, I just have to!'' she shouted. But she didn't. She searched the whole womens' section and didn't find what she was looking for. Kagome got down on her knees and started crying her eyes out. A staff member saw her and thought she was dying, so he called the ambulance. 5 seconds later the ambulance ran in the thrift store, put Kagome on their white bed thing, put her in the ambulance truck and took her to the hospital.

Kagome opened her eyes and yawned. ''Where am I?'' Kagome thought out loud. She looked around the room and saw a sign on the door that said ''Dr. Sasuke's office''. Kagome was shocked. She started panting fastly, then she screamed at the top of her lungs. Dr. Sasuke ran in the room and over to the bed Kagome was on. ''Kagome, shutup!'' yelled angry Sasuke. Kagome stopped screaming and looked at Sasuke. ''Dr. Sasuke, is that you?'' Kagome thought. Kagome thought she said that out loud and was waiting for Sasuke to answer her. He just stared at her. ''Are you going to answer me or what?'' Kagome asked angrily. Sasuke was confused. ''What are you talking about?'' asked Sasuke. But Kagome was already asleep.

It was 12 o'clock, time for Sasuke to go home from a long, hard day at work. He had been performing brain surgery on Kagome all day and boy was he tired! As soon as he left Kagome woke up and screamed. But there was nobody left in the hospital to come and see what was wrong, and Kagome quickly realized that, so she shut up.''Wow, I feel dizzy!'' said Kagome. ''Almost as dizzy as that one time in the feudal era with Inuyasha!' Kagome had a flashback of that one time in the feudal era with Inuyasha. When she was done with her flashback she decided it was time to get out of the hospital. Kagome had no clothes on under the doctor gown she was wearing. She didn't want to steal the doctor gown, so she took it off. She looked around for her clothes but they were nowhere to be found. Then suddenly she remembered. ''Mom ripped off my school uniform and donated it to the Goodwill, and I ran there naked to find it!'' Kagome had a panic attack and passed out on the floor.

Dr. Sasuke walked into his office. He looked around to make sure everything was there. ''Something is missing..'' thought Sasuke. He looked around his office again to see if he was wrong, but something was definitely missing. He looked down at the floor to find that he was standing on Kagome. And she was naked. ''Oh good, nothing's missing. It was only Kagome'' said relieved Sasuke. Kagome woke up and screamed. ''What's going on Dr. Sasuke?'' asked Kagome. ''I have no idea.'' responded Sasuke. Sasuke walked to his desk and sat down. Kagome stood up and ran over to Sasuke's desk. She had a look of horror on her face. ''I sense a shikon jewel shard!'' shouted Kagome, in Sasuke's ear. Kagome started screaming and running around the room. She was destroying all of Sasuke's stuff. Sasuke looked disappointed. ''All of that brain surgery and she's still retarded...'' thought poor Sasuke. Kagome didn't find out she was naked until she was about to break Sasuke's mirror. ''Dr. Sasuke..'' Kagome looked at Sasuke. ''I knew there was something special about you.'' Kagome ran over to Sasuke and hugged him. ''This doesn't look good..'' thought worried Sasuke.

''Why me?'' cried Sasuke. ''What did I do to deserve this?'' Sasuke was depressed. Kagome thought she was pregnant and her and Sasuke were going to be parents. She wanted to get married right away. Sasuke tried to tell her that she was wrong, but Kagome thought he was in denial. Now Sasuke was talking to his shrink about it. ''Sasuke, I know you must be going through hard times, but what do you want me to do about it?'' asked Krillin. ''Well, you're my shrink, you're supposed to make me feel better.'' Sasuke said through tears. ''Okay, I'll try... you could always get a restraining order against her.'' suggested bald Krillin. ''How would that help? She wouldn't understand.'' Sasuke said to poor Krillin. Krillin didn't have any more ideas. ''Sorry Sasuke, I don't know what else to say.'' Krillin felt sorry for Sasuke. He knew what it was like to have to put up with Kagome. Sasuke sighed. ''I guess I'll just have to talk to Naruto about it.''

''Yeah, he'll know what to do. Well, our time is up. See you later Sasuke. Good luck with Kagome.'' said Krillin. ''Thank you, Krillin. See you next Tuesday,'' Sasuke walked out the door, got on his horse, and flew to Naruto's house.''

Naruto was shaving his legs when the doorbell rang. ''I'll get it!'' shouted Naruto. He was excited to have company. Naruto opened the door. ''Sasuke! Oh Sasuke you've been crying! Come on in and let old Naruto get you some cocoa!'' comforted Naruto. Sasuke sniffled. ''Naruto, I need to talk to you about something. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?''

''Not much Sasuke. I was just shaving my legs for the big game tomorrow.''

''Big game?'' inquired Sasuke. ''Yeah. I'm going to watch the football game on TV. Wanna join?''

''I'd love to Naruto, but I can't.'' said Sasuke. ''Well, why not Sasuke? Are you too good to watch football with me?'' asked Naruto.

''Yes Naruto, I am. But that's not why. I'm getting married tomorrow.''

''You're getting married? Why didn't you tell me earlier, now I don't have time to rent a tuxedo or buy wedding gifts or prepare for being your best man? Wait a minute... who are you getting married to?''

''Kagome.'' Sasuke said sadly. Naruto looked stunned. ''Oh my god Sasuke, you stole my woman!"

''I didn't want to. She's forcing me to marry her.'' said Sasuke. ''Wow, just like on that one episode of Inuyasha where Kagome forced Inuyasha to eat her burnt cooking.''

''Yeah Naruto, it's exactly like that. What should I do?''

''Okay here's my plan. We buy a black chicken wig on eBay and you give me your clothes and I dress up like you and get married to Kagome. Then you kill yourself or move far, far away and she'll never find out I'm not you.''

''Your stupid idea just gave me a good idea. Here's the plan: we're going to put Kagome to sleep, put her in a big box and mail her to Canada where she belongs.'' said Sasuke. ''But Sasuke, if we mail her to Canada I won't be able to marry her.'' complained Naruto. ''Oh well.'' said Sasuke. ''Okay Sasuke, let's go find a big box to fit Kagome in.'' And so Naruto and Sasuke went off to find a big box to fit Kagome in.

Kagome was lying on her bed thinking about her big day tomorrow. ''Mrs. Kagome Uchiha...'' thought Kagome. Kagome was looking forward to being the newest member of the Uchiha clan. ''I wonder if I'll get the sharingan.'' It was just then that an evil, devious plan came into Kagome's mind. ''I'll force Sasuke and Naruto to help Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kiara and I track down Naraku and destroy him once and for all!'' Kagome looked at her poster of Jesse McCartney and fell asleep. Kagome's mom walked into Kagome's room. ''Oh, she's asleep.'' thought Kagome's mom. ''I can't believe my little angel is getting married.'' Kagome's mom sang 'Cheer up Charlie' from Willy Wanka then she went away.

"Hey Sasuke?" asked Naruto. But Sasuke didn't answer. Sasuke was trying to get to sleep in his sleeping bag which was right next to Naruto's bed. ''Hey Sasuke?'' Naruto asked again. This was a very important question Naruto had to ask Sasuke, but Sasuke wasn't answering him! ''Hey Sasuke, are you awake?" Sasuke certainly was awake, and he appeared to be IGNORING Naruto! Naruto was going to get Sasuke to answer him if it was the last thing he did! Naruto gave up all hope and cried. Sasuke felt sorry for Naruto. ''It's okay Naruto, it's okay.'' comforted Sasuke. ''Sasuke you do care!" cried Naruto through tears of happiness. ''Yes Naruto, I care. Goodnight.'' said tired Sasuke. ''Goodnight Sasuke.'' Naruto and Sasuke fell asleep. Sakura broke into Naruto's house. ''Oh, they're both already fast asleep.'' thought Sakura. ''I can't believe my little angels are shipping a retard to Canada.'' Sakura sang a beautiful Indian love song and then jumped out of Naruto's window, after blowing her little princesses a kiss.

Kagome woke up in a box. ''Sasuke, I think she's awake.'' said a mysterious voice Kagome heard outside the box. ''It's okay Naruto, she's too stupid to get out.'' said another mysterious voice Kagome heard outside the box. ''I wonder who they could be.'' thought Kagome. It was just then that Kagome remembered that she forgot to do her math homework last night. ''Oh no, Mrs. Ching Chong is going to kill me!'' freaked out Kagome. Sasuke and Naruto heard Kagome wiggling around in the box. ''If the mailman finds out there's a person in there, he might not take our package!'' exclaimed Naruto. ''He won't care if we tell him it's Kagome.'' said Sasuke. Sasuke was always right. Sasuke and Naruto took their box of Kagome to the post office. ''We want this shipped to Canada.'' Sasuke told the post officer. ''Okay. May I ask what's inside?'' asked the post officer. ''Kagome's in there.'' said Naruto. ''Oh, Okay. Don't worry, it'll be in Canada within three days.'' said the post officer. He took Kagome away. Naruto and Sasuke left. Kagome couldn't wait to get out of the box. She had a big day today.

''What if Canada doesn't like Kagome and mails her back?" asked Naruto. ''It won't Naruto.'' answered Sasuke. Naruto and Sasuke were training to be ninjas. ''But Sasuke, I thought we already were ninjas!" shouted Naruto. ''No Naruto, we're not ninjas. But once we finish our training, we will be.'' explained Sasuke.

An evil man was watching Sasuke and Naruto in his crystal ball. "These two boys mailed Kagome to Canada." Naraku told Kagura. Maybe we can get them to mail Kikyo there too.''

''But how? They mailed Kagome to Canada because she's stupid. Kikyo's not stupid." said Kagura. ''I know Kagura, that's why we're going to _make _Kikyo stupid." And so Naraku sent his bumble beas off to bring Kikyo to him. ''Oh, welcome back beas. Give me Kikyo." Naraku ordered his beas. The beas gave Kikyo to Naraku. "Okay, now all we have to do is figure out how to make her stupid." Naraku said to Kagura. ''How about we bash her head with a big stick?'' suggested Kagura. "Oh, that's a good idea. Let's do that." said impressed Naraku. Naraku sent Kagura out to find three big sticks. One for him, one for Kagura, and one for Krillin. Then they bashed Kikyo's head until they were sure she was stupid. "Okay, now lets send her to Konoha to meet Sasuke and Naruto." said Naraku. And they did.

Naruto and Sasuke were minding their own they saw a black haired girl headed their way. "That's Kikyo from Inuyasha." pointed out Naruto. ''I know. I've seen every episode and all 4 movies." said Sasuke. ''But Sasuke, I thought only Kagome and Inuyasha could get through the well!" complained Naruto. "Anybody can get through that well. All they need is a leaf.'' explained Sasuke. "Oh. Well here she comes Sasuke." Kikyo stopped in front of Naruto and Sasuke. "I like you guys, lets be friends." said Kikyo. Naruto and Sasuke looked worried. "Kikyo, are you feeling okay?" asked Sasuke. Kikyou snorted and clapped her hands. "Sauce-kay made joke, hehehehe, Sauce-kay funny!" shouted Kikyo at the top of her lungs. "I wasn't planning on going to work today Naruto, but this is an emergency." said Sasuke. Naruto and Sasuke rushed Kikyo to the hospital.

"Mrs. Kikyo Uzumaki..." thought Kikyo. Kikyo couldn't believe she was engaged to be married to Naruto Uzumaki, the most charming, sensitive, handsome boy in Konoha. Kikyo looked up into the stars and thought about all of the wonderful oppurtunities her future had stored for her now that she was getting married to Naruto. "I have faith in you, my friend." whispered Kikyo. Kikyo fell asleep. "She's asleep, is the box ready?" asked Sasuke. Naruto inspected the box. "It has a hole in it, what if Kikyo tries to get out?" asked Naruto. "Naruto, that's a breathing hole." said Sasuke. Sasuke knew everything. Sasuke and Naruto put Kikyo in the box.

Naraku saw what was happening in his crystal ball. "Yay. It's working. My evil plan is working. Soon Kikyo will be in Canada with Kagome!" exclaimed happy Naraku. Kagura, who was spying on Naraku from behind a pole, stared at Naraku. "Hmm, I wonder what he plans to do once Kikyo is in Canada... Maybe I should ask him... no, that's too dangerous..." thought Kagura. "Kagura, honey pie, I can see you hiding behind that pole." said Naraku. Kagura freaked out. "How? How could he see me behind this pole!" freaked out Kagura. Kagura had a heart attack and died. "Oh no!" cried Naraku. "Kagura is dead!" Naraku cried his heart out and ate a whole container of chocolate ice cream.

Naruto and Sasuke were happy to be rid of Kagome and Kikyo. They were celebrating by cleaning Sasuke's house. "You're doing a great job, Naruto." said Sasuke. Sasuke was watching the football game on tv. "I know Sasuke. I'm already done with half of your house!" exclaimed excited Naruto. "Hey Sasuke, what do you think Kagome and Kikyo are doing in Canada?" asked Naruto. "I don't know. Shut up." replied Sasuke. All of a sudden Sasuke's football game was interrupted by an emergency news broadcast. "We interrupt this program to report to you that Kagura from the feudal era had a heart attack, and everybody in the world is required to attend her funeral, as ordered by the evil villain Naraku. It starts right now. Everybody come quick before Naraku kills us all." The football game came back on. Sasuke turned off the tv. "But Sasuke, why can't Naraku just bring Kagura back to life with his super powers?" asked Naruto. "Because, Naruto, he doesn't really have super powers. That's just a tv show." answered Sasuke. Naruto and Sasuke got ready to go to Kagura's funeral.

Kagome woke up. "Where am I? Oh no, Sasuke, Inuyasha! I must have been kidnapped by Naraku!" Kagome screamed. Just then, a box crashed onto Kagome's box, crushing it open. Kagome got out. "Oh, I guess I didn't get kidnapped by Naraku!" Kagome looked around. She appeared to be in the middle of Canada. "I guess I'm in Canada. I must have been luggage on a plane and then I fell off the plane and landed here. And it looks like another box fell off the plane too and landed on top of mine!" said Kagome. Kagome decided to see what was inside of the other box. "Oh my god, it's a demon!" Kagome found a big stick on the ground and started bashing the demon's head with it. Then she realised it wasn't a demon, it was just something wrapped up in wrapping paper. "It's a present and it has a card on it!" Kagome read the card. It said 'To Canda, from Naruto and Sasuke.' "Oh my, it's from Sasuke and Naruto! I better open it and see what it is!" Kagome tore off the wrapping paper. It was Kikyo. Kagome woke her up. "What.. where am I? Kagome, is that you?" asked Kikyo. "Yes Kikyo, we're in Canada." answered happy Kagome. "Canada? Kagome... what did you do?" asked Kikyo. "Oh, I didn't do anything Kikyo, this is all thanks to Sasuke and Naruto!" Kagome was very, very happy to be in Canada. Kagome had never been to Canada before, so this was her chance to explore new things and have the adventure that all of the other Japanese school girls only wished they could have. Kagome now owed a great debt to Sasuke and Naruto for doing something this incredibly nice for her. Kagome looked up at the clouds and smiled. "Thank you Sasuke and Naruto, whereever you are."

Everybody was at Kagura's funeral. Naruto and Sasuke were the saddest ones there besides Naraku and Krillin. "Why did the chicken cross the road Sasuke?" Naruto asked through tears. "I don't know Naruto, why?" asked sad Sasuke. "Because it wanted to get to the other side!" Naruto and Sasuke started crying their eyes out. This was the end of Kagura. Krillin blew his nose.

The funeral was over. Naruto and Sasuke went home and made sandwitches for their picnic. This wasn't the end after all. It was a new beginning.


End file.
